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Is the Yellowstone Supervolcano About To Blow?

timothy posted about 6 years ago | from the four-horsemen-dressage dept.

Earth 877

An anonymous reader writes "Apparently, Yellowstone National Park has been having a very unusual number of earthquakes. Many of the most recent tremors have been deeper underground, an ominous sign. Combine that with a rapid rise in elevation over the past three years, and the possibility that earthquake activity from surrounding areas could trigger such an eruption on its own, and you've got the possible warning signs of a supervolcano eruption that would wipe out half to 2/3 of the continental US, plunge global temperatures, and wipe out a very significant chunk of world food sources. Here's a little more info to make your New Year brighter!"

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Frosty Piss (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286489)

It seems like it could be!

Re:Frosty Piss (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286505)

I sat naked on the bench in the health club locker room, staring at the tiles on the floor between my feet, but really looking at nothing. I was waiting for Barack to decide to come up ant talk to me. He was this muscular teenage nigger who frequented the club and had ruined my life in the last few weeks. I was ordered to sit naked on the bench without a towel or anything to cover my nakedness. I had to keep my legs spread and my cock and balls visible for the anyone In the locker room who wanted a look. I knew instantly that it had been a mistake to sign up at the inner city health club which was eighty percent black, but It was near my house and cheap which was even more important.

The harassment had started on my first visit. Dark skinned, muscular black boys bouncing around the locker room with their huge dicks and pendulous sacks of balls swinging, high fiving each other and laughing and rapping, and there I was, this moderately built white guy of thirty two.

I will never forget coming back from the shower and one chocolate skinned thug of about eighteen let out a "weeeeeeeow" kind of sound and then said very loudly to me, loudly enough for all his pals to hear, "White man, how the hell can you fuck wit such a small dick?" They all roared with laughter and I turned bright red. Before I left that first time, I med Barack. He eased up to me while I was packing my gym bag. He is one good looking darkie, I will say that for him. He flashed me a big white toothed smile and said he hoped I wasn't thinking of quitting the club. He said he was friends with the manager and they had my address and shit, and it would be really unfortunate if I decided to quit. Then he laid one large basketball player sized hand on my shoulder and said that he would see me at the same time the next day.

Well, that's how it started. It got worse each time I went to the club. Barack and the other niggers got me to get towels for them, had me scrub their backs in the shower, even made me pick their dirty stinking jock straps up off the floor. They sent their filthy jocks and socks home with me to wash for them.

Now let me state here once and for all, that I am in no way at all gay. I don't think I ever even had a gay thought. So all of this really repulsed me. They would brush up against me so their big fat black dicks rubbed my body. They would make constant jokes about me being a faggot.

So I had it out with Barack. I told him I was a single parent with a thirteen year old daughter and in no way gay, and I wanted to quit the club. That mention of my daughter was the biggest mistake of my life. Barack demanded to see a photo of her. Her name is Crissy. After that, all they talked about was "Crissy the Cunt" in the locker room.

"Some fourteen year old school boy probably shoving his dick in her right now while you is at da club." They would say things like that. Barack would ask, "Do you suppose she had ever sucked black dick?" I told them she was totally innocent, and they should keep their foul mouths to themselves. They beat the shit out of me.

I didn't go to the club for a week. All the windows were broken on my car, and my newspaper was stolen, and somebody pissed all over our door. I received a package at work, and when I opened it, there was a pile of shit in a box. I was going nuts with anguish. I thought of going to the police, but I knew I would face even worse if I did. So I went back to the club. That was two months ago. A lot had happened in those two months.

Now I sat waiting for Barack to speak with me. He walked up, stark naked. The first thing I saw were his huge brown feet next to me. I looked up at his long muscular legs. How could I miss the seven inch flaccid dick, thick as a flashlight and the ball sack that looked like it had oranges in it. It was fucking obscene. His stomach was hard and tight. His ass was one of those round tight nigger bubble butts. His chest well defined with large nipples. He had a killer smile, thick nigger lips, and dark flashing eyes that often looked drugged. He had only recently gotten out of reform school for molesting a girl on the playground.

"So, my man, how's that little dick of yours hangin'?"

I spread my legs wider so he could see my pathetic shriveled white prick and small ball sack. If I didn't keep myself on display for them at all times, they would have a wet towel snapping session where my scrotum was the target. It hurt like hell and was totally humiliating.

"So, bro, is everything set up for tomorrow?" He stood close to me...so close that his huge flaccid hunk of fuck meat brushed my shoulder. His dick was so huge, it was just fucking obscene, and that was in its flaccid state. He had not showered yet, and his body reeked of the nigger stink of his workout.

"Please. Please don't do this. I know I agreed, but that was after you had beaten me almost senseless. Please, isn't there some other way?"

He lifted one leg and put his foot on the bench next to me. His gigantic balls swung back and forth in their fleshy sack.

"Dere is no other fucking way, man. You don't wanna even think of what we gonna do to you next time you disobeys us. Dere is no other way. Now it so happens dat I needs me a new girlfriend, and your pretty little daughter fills da bill."

I felt my stomach turn over. I tried to relax, to breath deeply, but I felt like I was choking. This teenage nigger thug was talking about my daughter. My little Crissy. My thirteen year old angel. He had announced to me that he wanted her to become his girlfriend! Jesus Christ!

At first I had bluntly refused, letting my anger and disgust show. All the niggers in the club gathered around me, about fifteen of them, and Barack announced that I was racially prejudiced and didn't want him dating his white daughter. They started to slap and punch me.

"It's not that. Honest to God, I swear, it's not that you are black. It's that she is only thirteen. She's my innocent baby!"

Barack roared with laughter. "Any bitch of thirteen is totally ready for dick! She probably sucking da boys at school every day anyway by now." He looked at the photo of her which he had taken from me. "Yeah, she got real cocksucker lips, she shore do!"

"Oh God no, she's just a baby." I was crying in front of all of them.

"No, daddy, you gots it wrong. She is a babe...not a baby. Dat pretty little pussy is ready for some nigger popping!" Half the niggers surrounding me were getting hard ons, and I don't there there was one under eight and a half inches.

For weeks I had argued, begged, pleaded, tried to bargain with Barack, but he only wanted one thing. My daughter's virgin pussy. Once I stood up to them and told them I would go to the police. They had dragged me naked and screaming into the health club bathroom and forced me to eat turds out of the toilet bowl. I was sick for two days. The next time I went to the club, Barack had made me suck his dick. That was the first time I saw it erect. Over twelve inches of throbbing leaking nigger cock. I had a panic attack and literally tried to run out of the club. They held me down on a bench and Barack fed me his black fuck meat. His balls almost suffocated me. His dick choked me. He even made me suck his ass. What could I do? I agreed to let them have my daughter. I know, I am an awful man. A sinner. It is unforgivable, but I am scared out of my wits.

"So, tomorrow, I comes over to yo house dressed up real good. You introduce me to yo bitch daughter. Now when I sees her, dis is how I wants her dressed. A very tight tee shirt dat says printed on it, "I Love Nigga Dick!" She will wear no bra under it so I can see the tips of her budding little titties through the material. Den she is to wear her nice pleated cheer leader skirt like in da photo, only I don want her to wear no panties under it. From now on, yo daughter is forbidden to ever wear any panties. We want dat fresh young cunt and ass ready and available at all times. I want you to have some really top drawer booze at yo house ready for me. I am not sure what I will want, so you better have enough to satisfy me, whatever my taste might be. Who da fuck knows, I may want a cosmo, or maybe some of dat Louis XIII Brandy dat costs three hundred dollars. You better have it all. After I has a drink, you pretty little bitch and I gonna sit on da couch and get acquainted. Dat means you as da daddy get to watch me finger her cunt and play wit her titties. You gets to see her meet my big fat old dick and even lick and suck it a little. I always insists on sex on da first date, cause how else you know how a bitch perform, right? Shit, I insist on sex on every date. I mean dat is da only reason for da fucking date..to plow some pussy! Right? Otherwise I'd rather hang wit da home boys. Now she gonna be a little uptight and scared at firs...right? Specially when she see my dick and she know dat huge motherfucker is gonna plow her virgin twat! Oh yea, if she got any hair on her cunt yet, you make sure she shave it all off before tomorrow. I wanna see bald thirteen year old pussy."

While he said all of this to me at the health club, his dick got thicker and thicker and long strings of pre-fuck started to hang from the fat pisshole.

"Please don't hurt her...please." I was shaking in my naked agony.

"Hurt her? No why the fuck would I hurt my new girlfriend? I gonna love her. I gonna show her da pleasures of lovemaking. Shore, it gonna hurt a little da first time I ram my twelve and a half inch motherfucking dick balls deep into her tight little teenage pussy. Shore it gonna hurt when I pounds her as hard as I can, and den pull out and shove it as hard as I can up her little asshole. Shore dat gonna hurt a little, but dat is jus' part of growin' up. A her daddy, you understand dat. Right? Better to hab some nice boy like me who wants her for his girlfriend fucking her, den every boy at school who don't give a shit about her.

"Now don't you worry, I gonna take her into the bedroom to fuck her cunt and ass. I think dat is private. I mean, you can watch da first time she suck my balls and lick my dick and such. But fucking is between a guy and his girlfriend. I wants you dere at the start...at the sucking part, cause she is gonna be scared like I say, and you can calm her. Tell her it is a natural part of life, and she just gotta learn to please a man. She, she shoulda learned dat couple of years ago already. She is a late bloomer.

Now I am gonna want to use her bedroom for da first fuck,cause I wants to fuck her little bitch body in her teenage bed, wit all her teenage shit around. It will be so hot. But den, I is moving into your master bedroom. You can sleep on da couch. I wants a nice big bed and luxury for future fucks. I gotta fuck at least three times a day, usually more. Now of course I still going to be bangin' other cunt, but I will fuck your daughter regularly cause she is my number one girlfriend. My special bitch. I ain't gonna introduce her to my bros until after I fuck her for a week or so. Den when she broken in, I gonna share her with all da boys from dis here health club. Dere about twenty of us here as you know, so she gonna be pretty busy sucking nigga dick and getting ass and cunt fucked. We gonna do mos' of it over at yo house. You have lots of food dere at all times fo my brothers when dey comes over to fuck your daughter. Since she be fucking most every day all day and night from now on, I suggest you apply to home school her. Dat way, she don't even need to think about school and she can concentrate on nigga cock all da time."

"Please, please use condoms...." I had tears running down my face.

Barack roared with laughter. "Condoms? Shit...no. We never use condoms. It ruins da fuck. Dat little bitch gonna be pregnant in a couple of weeks at mos'. You gonna be da grand daddy of a nigga chile! And who knows. She young. If she stay tight enough and cute enough, maybe we fuck her for three or four years, you know, pass her around, pimp her out. Shit, she still young enough. She could hab five or six nigga babies! We don' allow no abortions. She gonna breed. Now my brothers and daddy be comin' over lots to fuck her too, so you better have lots of keys to yo house made, or jus' leave the fucking place unlocked. She don't leave da house without permission. I would hate it for both of you if some black bro comes over for a good hard fuck, and she not dere! Now I know you worried about her. Don' be. After a few days of getting nigga dick, she gonna love it so much, dat all she gonna live for. I seen it in young white bitches lots of times. Someday she gonna thank you for all dis. I mean how many girls her age so lucky to get ten to fifteen black cocks a day? Long as her pussy and asshole hold up, she be happy. One thing, she gonna hab to be a really good cocksucker, cause One thig is dat when da boys in my hood meet up wit guys from other gangs...we got dis thing. We hab our girlfriends suck da cocks of all da members of the other gangs, as kind of a peace signal, you know, a sign dat we is kewl and everything is okay. So she gonna pretty much hab a dick in her mouth twenty-four seven for da next few months. She gonna be sucking on nigga dick even when she getting fucked by my bros. Dis house gonna be pretty packed full of black boys! Now, after a bitch has sucked fifteen to twenty dicks a day, she often get a real tired jaw and swollen lips and a sore tongue, so you gonna have to tell her no matter how tired she get, da last dick of da day she suck, gets jus' as good a suck as da first one in da morning. You gotta make sue she understand that. I can't have no bad reports from rival gangs dat my bitch can't suck!

Now we gots one more problem. Da little bitch gonna be so busy getting fucked and sucking dick, she ain't gonna hab no proper time to clean up da dicks after dey fuck her cunt and ass! You know it da bitch's job to clean a dick wit her mouth after a brother fuck her. I mean, you can't expect a brother to walk around wit pussy slime or ass juice on his dick. But she gonna be so busy, she ain't always gonna hab time to clean up, so you my friend is going to have to step up to da plate to help her. You gonna be the official dick cleaner. You gonna lick and suck da dicks clean after dey fuck yo bitch of a daughter. I want you naked on you hands and knees at all times around da house, ready to lick and suck dick clean. And you gonna do a fine job too, I just know it. You get all dat stink off da cock. Maybe you can entertain da brothers waiting next in line to fuck yo daughter too by lickig dere balls and assholes. I never thought of dat until just now. Hot damn, dat is a good idea, ain't it? So dey don't get bored while dey waitin. And den, to keep your daughter fresh and tight, after every three or four fucks, you gonna crawl in and suck the nigga cum right outta her pussy and asshole. Think how great dat is. You gonna get to suck some thirteen year old pussy and asshole! How lucky is dat? You gonna clean out her cunt real good with yo tongue so it is ready for da next nigga.

We gonna be da happiest family you ever seen! Now come on, white boy, suck my dick, can't you see it dripping all over da floor?"

I put my mouth over the head of the huge leaking hunk of fuckmeat, and resigned myself and my daughter to our new destiny.

Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (5, Funny)

Wrath0fb0b (302444) | about 6 years ago | (#26286495)

After all, if we are going to have the sun blocked out by a huge cloud of dust, it would be fantastic to have as much heat trapped on earth as possible!

Global Warning (1, Interesting)

knarfling (735361) | about 6 years ago | (#26286641)

If a volcano erupts, is it considered part of global warming?

Re:Global Warning (5, Insightful)

Stile 65 (722451) | about 6 years ago | (#26286695)

It's more likely to cause global cooling, as TFS and TFA state.

Re:Global Warning (5, Insightful)

Mtn453 (1442435) | about 6 years ago | (#26286729)

It would more likely knock out all human life in the USA and burn/melt most of the populated areas of Canada and Mexico. Don't forget it will cause a huge drop in temperature which will cause a mini ice age Doesn't really matter where you are in the world as everyone will most likely starve to death in a couple years anyways. I think it was Mt Toba that went off last time... which dropped the human population down to 10,000 and kicked off a mini ice age 75,000 years ago.

Re:Global Warning (5, Funny)

Bastard of Subhumani (827601) | about 6 years ago | (#26286801)

If a volcano erupts, is it considered part of global warming?

Yes, but only if someone hears it.

Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (3, Insightful)

badasscat (563442) | about 6 years ago | (#26286755)

Jesus Christ, the summary is a bit alarmist, no? "Wipe out half to 2/3 of the continental United States?" Uh, no. It would leave half the United States under a dusting of ash. That's not the same as "wiping it out". Because, see, once the ash is cleaned up, the people, places and things underneath are all still there. At worst, it'll mean some clogged pipes and some really dirty shoes for a week or so.

The eruption of Mount St. Helens in 1980 left approximately 1/3 of the United States under a dusting of ash as well. Guess what?! We're all still here! In fact, after a couple of weeks, it was like nothing had happened. During the eruption things got a little scary for those who were very close (and deadly for those who were very, very close), but it was just more annoying than anything else for those who dealt with the ash clouds further away. It was basically like just having a big pile of dirt slowly emptied all over a big swath of the country.

As apocalyptic predictions go, this one's pretty benign.

Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (4, Funny)

Linux_ho (205887) | about 6 years ago | (#26286829)

Oh come on -- that's no good. What am I going to do with all these Obama's the Antichrist pamphlets if you keep spreading all that rational thought around and telling everyone things are going to be OK? No good at all.

Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286845)

You do realize a Yellowstone eruption would be slightly larger than St. Helens was right? "The Island Park Caldera supereruption that produced the Huckleberry Ridge Tuff was the largest and produced 2,500 times as much ash as the 1980 Mount St. Helens eruption."

Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (0, Troll)

Mtn453 (1442435) | about 6 years ago | (#26286869)

it most likely will not blow but it does. Say good bye. Yellowstone is measured 2,5090 times more powerful than St. Helens and would most likey place molten lava over 20,000+ square miles of land. St Helens is not even in the same category as Yellowstone, Toba, Taupo, Black Tail etc. Yellowstone is a VEI 8 (mega-colossal) where Helens is a VEI 5 (large). If you surve the initial firebombs, earthquakes and lava, then you will have about 200 300 feet of ash to look forward to.

Crops wiped out (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286873)

Actually, a significant percentage of one year's crops would be wiped out if it happens during the growing season. If it happens now, during winter, it would be quite a task for each farmer to scrape off all the ash -- and how much has to be removed depends upon how much ash can be plowed into the earth without affecting a crop plant (I'm being ambiguous because if a single crop is known to grow in such land then it would get planted rather than usual crop selections).

Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (5, Interesting)

Chris Mattern (191822) | about 6 years ago | (#26286895)

You have NO friggin' idea what you're talking about. The mega-eruption, if it happens, could be *hundreds of thousands* times bigger than Mount St. Helens. The last super volcano was 75,000 years ago. Light was blocked out all over the world. 35 centimeters of ash fell *2500 miles* away. The global temperature plunged 21 degrees. Mankind was almost extinguished, cut back to only a few thousand. This one...could be *ten times bigger*.

Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (4, Informative)

Mtn453 (1442435) | about 6 years ago | (#26286971)

I wouldn't actually be "hundreds of thousands" as you say. Go back to school and learn your VEI scale.

Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (-1, Troll)

timmarhy (659436) | about 6 years ago | (#26286989)

why the fuck do you people have to tag "mega" and "super" to EVERYTHING? do you think it'll throw us off the smell of your bullshit or something?

Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (5, Interesting)

UconnGuy (562899) | about 6 years ago | (#26286953)

You are forgetting about the volcanic dust in the lungs that will cause a painful death for many. For the most part, the dust is too fine to be filtered out.

It WILL blow up on... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286515)

Dec 21, 2012

Re:It WILL blow up on... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286823)

I used up all my mod points or I'd mod this up. Those Mayans were a smart bunch.

Re:It WILL blow up on... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286959)

aww, damn, you took my prediction date.

I say Dec 21, 2012 at 11:11pm UTC.

Suddenly... (5, Insightful)

Black Parrot (19622) | about 6 years ago | (#26286519)

Suddenly the economy doesn't sound like such a big problem after all.

Re:Suddenly... (4, Funny)

philspear (1142299) | about 6 years ago | (#26286591)

Are you nuts?!? With 2/3 of the country gone, my 401k is going to be completely ruined! RUINED! It would be a financial catastrophe (in addition to an actual catastrophe)!

Re:Suddenly... (1)

yetijoe (1411395) | about 6 years ago | (#26286969)

Maybe we can relocate the politicians and investment bankers to Yellowstone. If it blows a major part of the problem will be eliminated and maybe some common sense can prevail in the recovery.

Two multiple hundreds of thousands of years events (5, Funny)

Marxist Hacker 42 (638312) | about 6 years ago | (#26286523)

Why not? All the mathematical models claimed that the US Financial credit market and the Housing Bubble wouldn't burst at the same time- they calculated that was a once in 75 million years event. Given the luck of the United States lately, a 1/600,000 year event going off right now would just be the icing on the cake.

Re:Two multiple hundreds of thousands of years eve (1)

philspear (1142299) | about 6 years ago | (#26286621)

So because one unlikely thing happened, another unlikely thing is going to happen? I think I see why you're a marxist.

(kidding of course)

Re:Two multiple hundreds of thousands of years eve (1, Interesting)

Marxist Hacker 42 (638312) | about 6 years ago | (#26286753)

Well, either that or I'm the type of gambler who believes that bad luck draws more bad luck.

Re:Two multiple hundreds of thousands of years eve (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286833)

Well, either that or I'm the type of gambler who believes that bad luck draws more bad luck.

When probability talks about independent events, it fails to take into account anecdotal superstition.

Re:Two multiple hundreds of thousands of years eve (4, Funny)

ZorbaTHut (126196) | about 6 years ago | (#26286791)

History books will refer to late 2008 as The Year God Decided He Really Hated America.

(This is only true if the volcano blows within the next 5 hours, and I have to say - if it's going to blow, it should do it then, just for the humor value.)

Re:Two multiple hundreds of thousands of years eve (1)

Reality Master 101 (179095) | about 6 years ago | (#26286853)

History books will refer to late 2008 as The Year God Decided He Really Hated America.

Nah, the fundamentalists will just blame Gay Marriage.

Re:Two multiple hundreds of thousands of years eve (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286975)

And liberals will blame George Bush.

Re:Two multiple hundreds of thousands of years eve (5, Insightful)

Unix Ronin (1442443) | about 6 years ago | (#26286927)

Well, this is true, but what you have to remember is that those "mathematical models" were created by imbeciles who believed that all events in the financial market were independent (i.e no event in the market affects any other event), that the market can grow forever without limit, and -- worse -- still believe that when an event that the models say is a once-in-a-hundred-years event happens three times in six months, it's not an indication of a basic flaw in the model, but rather a rare fluke that means it's now statistically certain it'll NEVER happen again. The global financial sector's "mathematical models" are worthless, and always have been. They built a house of cards using imaginary money as cards, and the question was only one of when the house of cards would collapse.

The financial market and the Yellowstone basin are hardly related. Our models of vulcanism are incompletely understood, and based on what is -- on a geological scale -- a very short period of observation, a mere century and a half or so in the case of Yellowstone. But they are at least based on observation and study, not wishful thinking. Yes, many of the models indicate that there could be another supervolcanic event at Yellowstone "any time now". But on a geological timescale, that "any time now" could be a thousand years away.

This is interesting news, and absolutely bears close monitoring, but I think it's a little premature to run around shouting that the sky is falling. But regardless of the actual risk from Yellowstone, I don't think that the failure of the consensual delusion passed off as mathematical models of the global economy constitutes anything that can be used as evidence for anything except for how stupid a whole lot of ostensibly really smart people can actually be, when they're blinded by greed.

Re:Two multiple hundreds of thousands of years eve (1)

eadon-com (630323) | about 6 years ago | (#26286943)

Human behaviour is connected due to active observers. Natural behaviour is less so. This is a question of criticality. If you pour sand, then a pile forms that creates "avalanches" in an exponentially unpredictable fashion. Small avalanches occur more than large ones. both seem to be inherently random in their timing.

Can't decide (1)

slugtastic (1437569) | about 6 years ago | (#26286549)

When should I start to panic?

Re:Can't decide (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286617)

After the fact.

Re:Can't decide (2, Funny)

PyroPenguin (827234) | about 6 years ago | (#26286805)

When should I start to panic?

My friend Ford Prefect says, "Don't panic"

Oblig... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286551)

I for one welcome our new Seismic overlords.

Warning (3, Funny)

CheshireCatCO (185193) | about 6 years ago | (#26286553)

Well, if it's going to be the apocalypse (and I'm not going to be responsible, much to my chagrin), can you just make sure I get a few weeks' notice? There are... things... I want to do.

Re:Warning (5, Funny)

slugtastic (1437569) | about 6 years ago | (#26286575)

50% end-time-discount hookers, call now!

Re:Warning (1)

CheshireCatCO (185193) | about 6 years ago | (#26286659)

Honestly, I doubt anyone would have to pay for it if we reach the end of the world.

Re:Warning (1)

PrescriptionWarning (932687) | about 6 years ago | (#26286879)

no doubt because money would be worth nothing at such a time since you wouldnt be around much longer to actually enjoy any newfound wealth

Re:Warning (1)

CheshireCatCO (185193) | about 6 years ago | (#26286911)

Well, that too. Mostly I was thinking that the total lack of long-term consequences of our actions would definitely free up most people's behavior.

Re:Warning (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286889)

You've never met my heroin dealer then.

About payment... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286907)

...you underestimate how ugly I am.

Re:Warning (4, Funny)

syousef (465911) | about 6 years ago | (#26286595)

Well, if it's going to be the apocalypse (and I'm not going to be responsible, much to my chagrin), can you just make sure I get a few weeks' notice? There are... things... I want to do.

Those 'things' are girls and they've already told you they wouldn't have sex with you even if the world were ending.

Oh wait on second thoughts this is slashdot. You do realize that at the end of the world, no one's going to care if you put out a new beta of your new Robocode [sourceforge.net] robot, even if it is unbeatable.

Re:Warning (2, Funny)

Amazing Quantum Man (458715) | about 6 years ago | (#26286787)

So it's the end of the world as we know it?

But I feel fine!

Re:Warning (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286665)

I'm not sure why you got marked as a Troll, I found your comment filled with just the dark humor I need to see out this year.

If this is the big one, what do I want to do before I die? Learn how to paint a self-portrait.

It won't be the end, though. 1,000 cubic km of lava erupting 50km into the sky would suck as the worst case scenario. The rest of the world would probably find a way to manage if there wasn't a dust winter.

Re:Warning (1)

CheshireCatCO (185193) | about 6 years ago | (#26286705)

For legal reasons (stupid international treaties), I'm told I shouldn't report most of my list. However, I can state that I don't want anyone in the afterlife being able to say I never vaporized Ann Coulter with a high-powered laser, if you get my drift.

Re:Warning (1)

Nimey (114278) | about 6 years ago | (#26286677)

Two chicks?

Re:Warning (1)

PrescriptionWarning (932687) | about 6 years ago | (#26286899)

I guess some things have the same answer as "what would you do with a million dollars?"

my ammo (1)

sirmonkey (1056544) | about 6 years ago | (#26286559)

humm... i don't think my stores of ammo will help with that....
any one want to sell a nuke battery good for 100 years??

Re:my ammo (1)

mrmeval (662166) | about 6 years ago | (#26286685)

You can't eat ammo. You can't use ammo to take what is not in existence. Try survival blog sometime it has helpful hints on surviving disasters, out of control government, war and zombies. You know you can grow food? It's startling stuff and so tasty!

drilling (0, Troll)

je ne sais quoi (987177) | about 6 years ago | (#26286565)

I wonder if this could be caused by drilling. There have been cases [sciencedaily.com] of volcanic activity triggered by drilling. Of the top of my head, I remember that the Air Force got caught pumping waste chemical weapons into the subsurface under Rock Flats, CO without a permit. They were detected by the increase in earthquakes. Couple that with George Bush's legislation to allow drilling in preserved areas [commongrou...nsense.org] , that Republican mantra of Drill Baby Drill may not have been so smart after all...

Re:drilling (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286605)

Hold on a sec, I need to adjust my tin foil hat to enter this discussion.

Re:drilling (2, Insightful)

moniker127 (1290002) | about 6 years ago | (#26286609)

No. I could not be. Its a fucking volcano, it erupts when it wants. Don't make one thing about another.

Re:drilling (1)

WiglyWorm (1139035) | about 6 years ago | (#26286639)

Clearly now is the time for even more drilling!

We shall drill right ON TOP of the supervolcano, thereby relieving the pressure artificially and averting catastrophy.

Pressure applied (1, Insightful)

SuperKendall (25149) | about 6 years ago | (#26286691)

Of the top of my head, I remember that the Air Force got caught pumping waste chemical weapons into the subsurface under Rock Flats

Hey, here's a thought - PUMPING STUFF UNDERGROUND increases pressure.


Given that magma wells are many miles below the surface, tapping a bit of oil that sits relatively near the top is doing nothing for a massive supervolcano.

So basically the top of your head is an idiot, hopefully it's not spread any further than that.

Couple that with George Bush's legislation

Too late! He thinks George Bush is congress now!

Look at the bright side... (4, Funny)

Greg_D (138979) | about 6 years ago | (#26286599)

... when the global cooling occurs, it'll get Al Gore to STFU for once.

Re:Look at the bright side... (1)

slugtastic (1437569) | about 6 years ago | (#26286651)

Nah, he will be the guy who says "Told you so!" in the end.

Re:Look at the bright side... (1)

erroneus (253617) | about 6 years ago | (#26286693)

Yes, we shoulda killed the manbearpig...

Re:Look at the bright side... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286769)

Hopefully Al Gore's dumb ass is sitting right on top of it when it lets go

That Would be a Great End to 2008 (1)

Greyfox (87712) | about 6 years ago | (#26286607)

The year can go out with a... bang!

Thank God for SLBMs abd CVNs (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286619)

We'll still have a seat on the Security Council.

Well damn... (4, Funny)

DanWS6 (1248650) | about 6 years ago | (#26286623)

I wasn't going to party tonight but this gives me a valid excuse to stop by the liquor store on the way home.

watch and wait (1)

purpleraison (1042004) | about 6 years ago | (#26286661)

Ultimately, there is nothing we can do but warn people. ...and wait....

Happy New Year!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286663)

hey wait...

Re:Happy New Year!! (2, Informative)

JamesTRexx (675890) | about 6 years ago | (#26286747)

Happy new year to you too. *grin*

(posted safely far away from the Netherlands at 01:07)

Heres hoping.. (2, Interesting)

dutchct (673848) | about 6 years ago | (#26286669)

..it's releasing more energy then its storing. The fact that the park is so geothermally active may be a good thing. It's much better for us if its releasing it's energy slowly rather then all at once. Sort of like a pressure relief valve on a hot water heater.

"would wipe out half to 2/3 of the continental US" (4, Funny)

DanWS6 (1248650) | about 6 years ago | (#26286687)

How many Library of Congresses is that?

Re:"would wipe out half to 2/3 of the continental (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286887)


Re:"would wipe out half to 2/3 of the continental (1)

bornyesterday (888994) | about 6 years ago | (#26286897)

Considering the LoC is just about as far to the east of Yellowstone as you can get in the continental US, and if we're lucky about ash and fallout patterns, hopefully it would be none. In fact, if I hear that it has erupted, I will make maximum haste to reach the LoC to potentially increase my chances of survival.

Re:"would wipe out half to 2/3 of the continental (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286905)

Given the expected result of an eruption, that would be 1.0 or so Libraries of Congress. ;)

Somebody call Crono! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286703)

We need to stop Lavos from destroying the world! Though I think that happened in 1999.

Re:Somebody call Crono! (2, Insightful)

HTH NE1 (675604) | about 6 years ago | (#26286867)

We need to stop Lavos from destroying the world!

Some things are fixed, some things are in a flux. Yellowstone is a fixed point in history. What happens, happens. There's no stopping it.

Re:Somebody call Crono! (4, Funny)

jamesh (87723) | about 6 years ago | (#26286981)

Yellowstone is a fixed point in history. What happens, happens. There's no stopping it.

That's just the sort of "bend over and take it up the arse" that has gotten you Americans into the mess you're in right now. You should be out protesting in the streets about this impending supervolcano! If you aren't part of the solution you are part of the problem. Won't someone _please_ think of the children? Maybe next time you'll vote in a government with a firm policy platform on the whole supervolcano issue. If this supervolcano goes off then the terrorists win.

I've got plenty more!

In other news ... (1)

Sepiraph (1162995) | about 6 years ago | (#26286709)

Happy new year! * Put on tin-foil party hat * (And I guess it's time to plan to move ...)

No boom today. (5, Funny)

Werkhaus (549466) | about 6 years ago | (#26286721)

Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow.

Sensationalism at its best (4, Insightful)

hobo sapiens (893427) | about 6 years ago | (#26286745)

The linked articles do not really raise any cause for concern. The title sure has a ZOMG!!! factor to it, but in reality it's just a bunch of what-ifs. Move along, nothing to see here.

GW linked to volcanic activity ?! WTF (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286761)

Climate change may actually increase the probability of volcanic and earthquake activity!

See article below:

"The Earth fights back ..
Never mind higher temperatures, climate change has a few nastier surprises in store. Bill McGuire says we can also expect more earthquakes, volcanoes, landslides and tsunamis"

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2007/aug/07/disasters/ [guardian.co.uk]

Re:GW linked to volcanic activity ?! WTF (4, Funny)

slashnik (181800) | about 6 years ago | (#26286859)

"Climate change may actually increase the probability of volcanic and earthquake activity!"

Come on get off the fence, does it or doesn't it.

Too late (4, Informative)

Captain Nitpick (16515) | about 6 years ago | (#26286763)

Seriously Slashdot, you need to work on your reaction time. This was news two days ago.

These earthquake swarms happen frequently in Yellowstone, and this one has already ended. Yellowstone has dropped back to its ordinary low rumble [utah.edu] .

Your link doesn't seem to support your contention (1)

Fished (574624) | about 6 years ago | (#26286849)

I see 3 3.0+ quakes today after a couple of days off. From what I've been reading, it seems like quakes greater than 3 are somewhat unusual period. Granted, I know squat about geology, but it still seems a bit anomalous. (Unfortunately, the U. Utah page doesn't seem to go back more than a few days, so I can't really tell for sure how unusual 3.0 quakes are. I'd welcome being corrected with real data.)

Re:Your link doesn't seem to support your contenti (4, Interesting)

praedictus (61731) | about 6 years ago | (#26286991)

I noticed that too, and the local distribution of the cluster does look somewhat like pre-volcanic activity. But if it were the supervolcano. I'd expect activity along the caldera margins. This looks more like something that would result in a new cone or maybe just some new hot springs under the lake.

silver lining (1)

ignavus (213578) | about 6 years ago | (#26286767)

plunge global temperatures

Well, that would fix global warming.

Somebody at US News & World Report Blogged abo (1)

Fished (574624) | about 6 years ago | (#26286771)

Somebody from US News & World report blogged about it here [usnews.com] . Not quite to the "run in circles scream and shout" stage, but I might go and spend $100 on rice and beans, just in case.

Good thing I have been using the simulator... (2, Funny)

Daswolfen (1277224) | about 6 years ago | (#26286799)

With a apocalypse right around the corner, its a good thing that I am spending many hours in the perfect post-apocalyptic simulation, Fallout 3.

Super Volcano or Nuclear War, the net effect is the same, just one has less radiation.

Nothingofvaluewaslost (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286809)

That's ok. It'd take out red states much more than blue ones.

Re:Nothingofvaluewaslost (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286973)

That's true! Fortunately, the blue states would starve to death.

Shut up, fool.

2012 (2, Funny)

rlp (11898) | about 6 years ago | (#26286847)

Nah, won't happen till Mayan doomsday. Enjoy your New Year. (Though at least we won't have to fix the 2038 bug).

Re:2012 (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286949)

That's not fucking insightful, you dumb moderators.

At times like these (5, Funny)

chaossplintered (1164745) | about 6 years ago | (#26286851)

At times like these, I feel it's appropriate to start rocking back and forth singing:

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...

Maybe this Was a Bad Time... (1)

tekiegreg (674773) | about 6 years ago | (#26286855)

To Move from Santa Ana, CA to near Denver, CO (I.E. about 1000 miles closer to Yellowstone then before). Oh well been nice knowing you all...either that or is it time for that Mexican vacation yet?

Slashdot crowd (2, Interesting)

IF_I_was_G*d (825192) | about 6 years ago | (#26286877)

It's kind of interesting, how the Slashdot crowd has really nothing meaningful to comment on this possible and according to some scientists "overdue" event.

GW linked to volcanic activity ?!? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286883)

Hard to believe, but the article below makes a scientifically plausible case for a link between global warming and increased earthquake and volcanic activity!

"The Earth fights back"
"Never mind higher temperatures, climate change has a few nastier surprises in store. Bill McGuire says we can also expect more earthquakes, volcanoes, landslides and tsunamis"
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2007/aug/07/disasters/ [guardian.co.uk]

Maybe it just has to pee (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286903)

Call someone, quick! (1)

blake182 (619410) | about 6 years ago | (#26286939)

Shit, I can't remember -- is this a job for Pierce Brosnan or for Tommy Lee Jones?

lets face it... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26286993)

the planet earth was not that great in the first place. billions of people dont have clean drinking water, while people who could afford to let them work for it, instead spend money on drugs and trinkets.

i feel bad for the innocent people, but the ones who will mostly be fucked by this are the world powers... and it really wouldnt be such a horrible thing if they were all wiped out. for the people living on 2 dollars a day in some place that is filled with landmines from the 'civilized' world, starving to death in the midst of chaos and disease would be nothing new to them... in fact, they are the most likely to survive, perhaps feasting on the bloated, fatty corpses of americans who dont know that bread is made of wheat or which direction the sun comes up.

Great articles linked (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26287007)

One says the last eruption was 640,000 years ago, the other says 70,000.

Dangerous assumption (0, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 6 years ago | (#26287013)

The argument always seems to be how wildly unlikely it'll happen. The problem is we are due for an eruption and what is stopping it from happening now? Anyone ever hear of Mt St Helens or Krakatoa? The entire ring of fire has been more active in recent years than any time on record. Yellowstone is showing every sign of increased activity and there has been a lava dome rising from below for a number of years, exactly what happens before an eruption. The only thing alarmist was the 2/3 quote, never heard that one before. The quote I heard was 1/3 of the US would be affected directly. Possibly 2/3 would have ash falls but so would most of the world since the ash would reach the stratosphere. Denver is toast as well as any city within 500 miles with severe damage extending to 1000 miles or more. Millions would be lost in the first hours and millions more from starvation. It would affect the world climate for many years and ironically would reverse some of the global warming for a time. The world won't end but it will be devastating.

People should be concerned since it WILL erupt eventually. What are the odds of it erupting within the next 10 years? 50/50. Rediculous? look at it this way, it's showing every sign of an eruption and it's due for one. It either happens or it doesn't, 50/50. That's the God's honest truth. Any other statistic is pointless because they all assume it may never erupt. Once an event like this comes due it will happen whether it's tomorrow or in a thousand years. Is there a chance it'll be in a thousand years? Of coarse but the whole point no one will admit to is it's just as likely to be next year as in a 1000 years the odds are exactly the same.

Tremors have begun ... (1)

Skizzo (572370) | about 6 years ago | (#26287017)

Tremors are beginning and that means the quake swarm is no longer "ordinary". http://www.seablogger.com/?p=12519 [seablogger.com]
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